I Almost Fell Asleep At My Desk Today

I almost fell asleep at my desk today.

A mixture of reasons:

#1 My telephone, for a change, did not ring off the hook as much as usual....(possibly because I 'accidently' knocked it off the hook whilst reaching for coffee numero uno...sshhhh)

#2 Despite taking myself to bed early (in an effort to avoid human contact via skype/facebook/hotmail/mobile switched off and hidden it somewhere in the bottom of my work swag...), I stayed awake thinking, same old stories, same old memories of the love I have lost........repetitive......

#3 Not coping with reason #2, I popped a sleeping skittle to hurry this activity. It worked, eventually.....so when my alarm went off at stupid o'cock, I dragged my weary drug smeared ass out of my warm cosy bed......sleep deprivation hanging over my brow, until at least 10am and reason........

.....#4......It was 10am before I could slip out to the kitchen to make coffee for one, whilst no swine was looking. Coffee is serious business in our office, though, I am not the least effective member of this tedious society. One cohabitant lives on, greedily in the corner, fleecing all for anything she can get.......this includes the coffee.....for ease of reference, I christen her I'll Have One.

     Me: 'I'm just grabbing a water, would you like anything from the kitchen?'

    
     I'll Have One: 'oh, I'd love a coffee, do you mind? I would get it myself but I'm                          
     snowed under, I'm so cheeky, next round is mine' (this promise only ever escapes her lips after the safety
     of 16:30 when rest assured, no more coffees, it's almost time to go home...)

#5.....I was a little bored.

I found myself gazing around the office, mentally assessing the urban cookie collective before me. I secretly watch I'll Have One, in utter bewilderment. I just can't resist the urge. I'll Have One sits directly in my vision, a little to the right, and if I my swivel chair is just a bit higher then usual, I have a clear shot. Sometimes, it feels like it is an advantage....other times.......it seems only to facilitate a good ol' vomit fest.......

Now, I'll Have One, as the name sake may suggest, does not just feast on the coffee granules throughout the day, I'll Have One, certainly doesn't stop the trough at a cuppa......Many occasion I peer over my computer screen, and watch her devour a stack of snacks. Turn away? I've tried. I yo-yo between obsession and revoltion............I have never seen lips and gullet in motion at such speed.......her mouth like a tumble dryer. I swear one day I am going to witness her bite her own fingers off, because not once does she look down at what she is about to put in her mouth, it is gone so fast, akin to a pencil being sent to death with an electric sharpener.......one day......

RA RA bloody Ra. So I am now very tired. Ignoring the vow I make every bloody morning (tonight is different, I will be in bed by 7pm), I am sat up in bed, writing this blog stuff. No doubt, that before I prep for bed I will find a zillion billion other things I needed to do online as I build up the motivation to get my lazy trunk into bed. Its 10pm, and I'm still queuing for another ticket...for nightly re-runs of my broken broken heart...... (wImP).