Back To School

Monday Monday Monday

Give me strength.......Today was an utter bore.

Following a weekend of utter self indulging, work was the last thing my body was expecting this morning.

5am Sunday morning, I crawled into bed......... after my mind battled with thoughts to just stay up...in utter defiance of accepting Sunday (moody Monday prequel).

I had a fabulous Sunday nevertheless. I woke up relatively early, chatted to the Angel That Broke My Heart, and popped out for a spot of family fun.

Sunday night movie fest managed to distract from the moody Monday feeling that was creeping in, only to be discharged 7am like a tide of sewage...

Stupidly, I watched a sappy movie and ended the evening text sobbing to my best mate about how I have managed to get myself hooked onto such an impossible love.......... fool........

Monday morning started with a nightmare. Literally. I woke up in a pool of sweat and fear, convinced that there was a ghost of an old lady standing in my bedroom. Happy Monday!!!

Monday morning raged on with equal audacity, my weekly grilling from Persistent (Guest star in my previous blog entry!) about my whereabouts Friday just gone and my distgusting antics over the past few days....

This was all superceeded by a united email from the gods about company changes...redundancys and restructures......

The office by this point was up in arms and it was a fantastic opportunity to have a good ol' gas bag session without anyone really giving a toss. I drank coffee and ate biscuits and extracted way to many thoughts from the lose lipped........how so and so is most likely to get the boot and why. It was amazing how quick the knives came out........

....whatever, it kept people occupied....and so, I mingled in and around the office, avoiding Persistent like she had measles.

During this time, I had plenty of opportunity to think about my life and what I wanted to do with it, and it was obvious that I needed some massive changes myself, a new life, a new job. I dream of ideas that would work, that would make me a success, but they never come to anything. I lose motivation after I have written them down.......

Most of my current ideas/dreams/plans in some way link to the love of my life, so I seriously have to sit down and have a good look at what I am proposing......but all the same, it makes me excited.

I looked around the office, surrounded by the solemn and I think, how on earth are you happy with what you have? don't you want more?

I hear the same stories of getting married, getting a mortgage and mundane routine, meandered through in robot fashion. Am I a little harsh? I just want to have fun and life experience. I want stories to tell and dreams to evolve.

I see many depressed people in my office and it seems as though life is just on hold for them. Like they know no other existence, cabin fever setting in. I don't want to be like that, but will that make me grow old lonely????

Two years ago, I craved the routine, now I'm fucked off with it.