Where am I?

It is Sunday morning and I feel like I have arrived on a different planet.

This is mainly because it is not yet afternoon, nor am I in pain from a typical Saturday night work out !!!!

So this morning I am going to treat myself as a reward for my best behaviour...to a chicken and mushroom pie for breakfast.......(least my eating habits remain the same for a Sunday morning!!!).


This entire weekend has been a game of life for me. The realisation that I can have fun...without being wankered....I say realising, when actually I just mean reminding as I have managed this experiment before but took little note of the results....

I have had some amazing dreams this weekend and whether that is linked with the lack of toxins in my body, or that I am just in a more likely state to recall them I am unsure, but there is some serious psychology going on here.......

Fridays dream involved me having a baby. Now, I am the least maternal lady in the world, so where this came from has spawned some wonderful discussions over dinner with my friends I can tell you............ In my dream the baby kept morphing into a puppy and then back again, and in either case, I was struggling with the weight of lifting them, in fact I was barely able to keep their toes (or paws) from touching the floor...... Needless to say, I woke up Saturday morning in a terrible panic......

Last nights episode was of similar quantity, only a snake was in place of the puppy (how does that even equate????!!!!!). The snake I kept at home and was too scared to touch it. In this dream I visited the pub (no unusual behaviour here), but couldn't quite relax (unusual behaviour here). I would take regular looks over my shoulder to check that the snake hadn't followed me but simultaneously chatted to the chic beside me about how anxious I was at leaving it at home!!! Like leaving your new bady with a baby sitter for the first time!

What the puck??????

I have never really got as far as dream interpretation, but retrospectively (I can do this now I'm having Sober Sunday), the dreams may have a point........

At the moment I am going through life dilemma......two very different paths......and I have come no nearer to knowing which path to bolt down......

I have two paths I would like to take, and both are so different that it is virtually impossible to compare...

Route 1:  Steady job, career progression, mortgage, swish car, and a cat.
Route 2: Sunshine abroad, work to live, catch some friends, continue my road as it has been for the past 5 years, utter escapism.............return to home country in a couple of years, none the wiser, simply tanned and living back with the folks.............

I think my unconscious state is feeding on my anxiety....... baby/puppy, being weighed down.........

Sunday is erring towards Route 2, the anxiety here, is that I have been here before and utterly craved Route 1..........mmmmmmmmmmmm........